Warning Signs of an Alcohol or Drug Relapse

Relapses are most likely to occur when an individual’s life circumstances begin to closely resemble those that led to them using drugs or alcohol in the first place, or begin to take on tones similar to those that were triggering to them during their active addiction.

Some common things that can cause relapses include:

• Emotional turmoil. Emotional turmoil is a very broad term and can include stress caused by any number of situations.
• Breakups and divorces are serious triggers for relapses.
• The death of loved ones and the ensuing grief can be a serious trigger.
• Difficulty at school or work can elevate emotional turmoil
• Stress. Though technically an emotion, stress is in its own category, partially because of the physical symptoms that it can cause. Stress leads to high blood pressure, an increase in heart rate, sweating, and even heart palpitations. It’s very uncomfortable, and people who have used drugs know that there’s a switch that they can push that will immediately eliminate all of their stress.
• Times of change. Change, especially unexpected change, can make anyone feel uneasy and unprepared. Without faith in the unknown, change can be scary. When someone’s scared, they turn to things that comfort them: loving relationships, comfort food, drugs, or alcohol.

Now that you know some of the situations that can lead someone down the path to a relapse, you should know about some of the behavioral changes and issues that can indicate someone is considering a relapse. If the individual isn’t very open about their personal life, or you don’t know them that well, you might not really know what’s going on in their emotional life and thus not be able to evaluate their likelihood of relapsing based on the previous criteria.

Some of the signs and symptoms of an individual about to relapse can include:

• Changes in emotional outlook. If someone becomes suddenly depressed, nihilistic, overly anxious, or otherwise negatively impacted, this could be a sign that they’re thinking about relapse. On the other hand, if they’re suddenly chipper and energetic for hours at a time, this could indicate that they’ve already relapsed.
• Emotional instability. Different from a simple change in their emotional outlook, emotional instability is marked by frequent changes in emotion. One might bounce quickly back and forth between irritation and happiness, between anger and joy. This unpredictability can indicate a potential relapse.
• Changes in friends. If you notice that your loved one is hanging out with people that they used to use drugs with, you need to be cautious. This is one of the most telling signs of relapse.
• Loss of interest in things that used to amuse them. Boredom is one of the most common causes of relapse, which is why therapists always recommend that recovering drug users and alcoholics put a plan in place to keep themselves occupied after they complete their program.

If you think that your loved one is thinking about relapse, then you’re naturally going to want to help them. It’s important that you go about doing this in the right way. Coming off as judgmental, aggressive, or condescending can make the problem significantly worse, or can create a problem where there was none before.

The first thing to make sure of is your intention. Why are you considering approaching them about their potential relapse? Are you concerned for their safety? Or are you concerned that their relapsing and potential return into addiction might inconvenience you?

Ask yourself these questions and give yourself some time to really consider both possibilities. There’s no shame in admitting the latter. In fact, most people who are honest with themselves find that it’s some combination of both: concern for themselves, and concern for their loved ones.

It’s important to establish this first because if you’re coming at this without understanding your intention, it’s easy to throw off the person you’re speaking to because your words might not line up with your intention. For example, if you claim to be concerned about them, but only discuss issues about their addiction that affect you, then it’ll be quite obvious to them that you’re not being completely transparent and honest.

On the other hand, if you’re genuinely concerned about them and don’t want to see them risk their health, their happiness, or their future, then make sure that you express these things to them. You want to approach them from a space of compassion and acceptance, not of judgment and condemnation.

Speak to them as equals and remember that you probably have your own vices, too. They may not be as dangerous or destructive as an active addiction, but there’s almost certainly some crutch that you lean on when things become overbearing. Their addiction is only different in its intensity and the havoc that it can cause in their lives and the lives of others.

If they’re open and receptive to a conversation, then great. Unfortunately, many people are not. This is why it’s important to be compassionate and understanding. People are much more likely to open up if they feel that you’re not there to judge them. If they feel understood, which many people struggling with addiction do not, then chances are they’ll be more than willing to spill the beans. Many people trapped in addiction are just waiting for someone (aside from other users) who understands their situation and can help guide them out of it.

If you’re concerned about a loved one who might be about to relapse, make sure that you communicate with them about it. Ensure that your words are thoughtful, kind, and display the overall sentiment that you’re concerned about them and their health, not that you’re judging them or thinking less of them.

This may open up a dialogue that allows them to express what’s bothering them or what changes in their lives are causing them to feel triggered or uncomfortable. Sometimes, this is all that they need to avoid a relapse. Sometimes, they’ll relapse anyway. In either case, you’ll know that you did your best to help them.